tv Washington This Week CSPAN April 27, 2013 2:00pm-6:16pm EDT
the government is risking not being compliant. illusions were people have to survive on 5000 rubles a month. >> i could not agree more. especially if they are sitting in accounts. that is one thing. but if the monies have been spent on something else, that is a violation. what was that? it kind of look like a meeting of despair, if you will, into the economic crisis, and also a meeting of hope because the meeting did look for growth points or hope point, if you will. four ways to find a solution. so what was it, from your perspective?
how do you or assessment of economic situation: site or not coincidequick assessment of the government? >> we are not talking despair and talking hope. it is a working meeting between the relevant ministries, government agencies, the president of the central bank, and members of the executive committee. we did not limit -- we did not just limit ourselves to a high ranking officials. we discussed the problems plaguing the global economy, how it impacts our economy. the trigger for that meeting was the fact that the economic growth rate has been slowing down in this country. there is nothing unusual about it, there is nothing unexpected about it because experts, for a long time and we have understood and have become experts ourselves, we all understood that the decline in the global economy, especially
in the eurozone, is making an impact in a serious way because the eurozone is our primary trade and economic partner more than 50% of our trade is with europe. for several years many european countries have been experiencing a recession and butine that could not help impact us. and finally it started affecting us directly. we have to get together to reevaluate the situation and how to listen to different points to decide whether we have made a contribution. authority.ferring to whether we have made a contribution to this decline with our politics. i am talking about negative contribution. parts of the government believed that we have made a negative
contribution and a visible one. some members of the government believe this is not our responsibility, this is the result of the negative development of the global economy. we simply must watch closely what happens there and to have a crisiso respond if the starts getting bigger. this is not an agrument thrgumeh the presidential administration and the public. we do not have a dividing line between the president and the government. the dividing line echoes across substantive issues. it does not take a specialist to understand what the core of the problem is.
certain colleagues believe several factors have come together. first of the global economic crisis that is ongoing, including the eurozone. the second is man-made. it is accepted plea -- acceptably tight monetary policy inside the russian federation. to the extent it is well grounded because it intends to target inflation, to keep inflation in control. that serves the interests of the citizens and the economy. many believe this has put restrictions on the money supply that the central bank has switched. therefore the money supply has decreased. introducede we have a so-called "budgetary rule" and we have started removing the
petrol dollars from the market in an increased amount, which is also reducing the money supply. then our banks, despite a reduction in inflation, are continuing to lend only on high interest rates, both natural persons and legal persons. 15%, whereas the inflation has nge.ped to 7 and cha some colleagues believe adjustments and corrections need to be made. that is where the dividing line between parts of the argument is. i believe adjustments are required. i like to emphasize and call your attention to the fact that the fundamentals of our economic policies will remain unchanged. we will continue to pay attention of all to the macroeconomic indicators and orient the real economy in a way
that the social requirements of the publix are satisfied -- of the public is satisfied. >> are you taking into account a possible crisis? >> have no measures yet. we have a great deal of questions that were received over the last few days about the government, and especially since the direct line was opened a couple of minutes ago lepus " one of them which was received -- let us quote one of them which was received a few minutes ago. that theelieve cabinet of ministers is not capable of performing its duties in full?" there is the expected criticism against education ministers.
the parliament wanted to resign. and we would like to hear from you. >> what is the name of this individual? well done. for we need to have is managers of any level to feel and understand rank and file citizens are keeping a close eye on our work and evaluating them. one needs to think about the opinion of the public in his or her work. as far as individual members of the government or the government on a whole, i have repeatedly heard numerous calls for firing this minister or that minister or fire the entire government. friends and your colleagues, i do share your viewpoint -- dear friends and dear colleagu
es, i do share your viewpoint that all government levels need to be held accountable. the president's inauguration was a year ago. the inauguration took place on may the seventh and the government was not informed until after the inauguration. the cabinet has not even been an office for a year. of course there are complaints and quite a few complaints in this short period of time. we shall let the members of the cabinet realize themselves if they are unable to comply with his or her job. a year is not enough. there is a colossal amount of responsibility and work. there can be a lot of complaints but whether or not we need this kind of personnel re-shuffling, it likely will cause more damage than good. >> the audiences have a lot of question said. invited a guest to our
studio. let us let him express his personal -- let him express his personal opinion. he was in charge of the finance ministry since 2007. >> i would mention something else. on two occasions he was recognized by the international expert community as the best finance minister in the world. >> thank you. and thank you for the invitation to be here. i would continue your words influenced the fact that last year our economic growth began to decline and in q1 this year it was lower. i have to say the main factor this year is driving towards the reduction. through the hype will price
again feel the extra nell's -- through the high oil price we have low growth rates. this did not happen in previous years. what do i think is the main thing that should have been done by the government? depart fromneeds to thedependence, from minin ghtg natural resources. these factors remain serious in our economy. the second thing, the government should be more clear, more understandable and should give clearer messages to the business community. what we do not even know the insurance will be for the business community. a decision needs to be made to
rescue this situation. third, the world promises that the world regions would receive more support. i do not believe that. in past governments we have externalized expenses. we have begun to increase federal expenses, including military. needed.asures are revenues need to be given over to the region and then growth will be motivated by the region. is thatmportant factor part of the active society that is creating jobs and investing. of the fact, what kind political system will we have in this country today? it has emerged as a new confidence factor, which in our country is quite mature.
it still bothers the society, those who are prepared to work and invest in new jobs. i would argue with you on another matter, experts have noted that accelerators are growing faster than labor activity in this country. many will say that this is correct. we must understand that this kind of growth in salaries has absolutely objective limitations. we will then invest less and subsequently economic growth will even continue to slow down. the model should be as follows, of laborincreased rate activity. it did dotg you had, cro's and cross certain t's.
debating and he has been the finance minister for him. you'll have no doubt that i have always treated his opinion with a great amount of respect. i have already took on two occasions he was recognized by the international community as the best finance minister in the world. i am quite sure that was the case. financehe best minister, not the minister on social matters. we discuss and debate and argue a lot. undoubtedly i agree with what he said last, that is the labor productivity should outgrow the growth of the sellers. that is the case of the railway sector. somehow they have maintained this positive trend. that was the case last year.
a highly important goal is to the ur economy and oon innovative development path. it is not easy to do when an energy crisis is high. fairly difficult to transfer the main cash flow in that direction. a more favorable environment needs to be created for the manufacturing sectors. how can that be done? to attack as incentives. -- through tax incentives. always very careful because this means losses to the federal budget. what props budget is of the defense and calls.
of the revenue sources into the regions, the finance ministry. on the whole of course this is the credit trend. i hope his successes with his professional support will start -- will be moving in that direction gradually. i couldn't agree with that more. running out are now of the opportunities for inorganic growth driven by high prices of fuels, that is also true. he always tells me about this when we have private meetings. i agree with him. there is one thing i'd like to it is not just about high oil prices. whether or not external conditions are favorable or not
favorable depends on the condition of our partners. oil prices are high but metal prices are low because the demand has gone down internationally. factor thatjor is setting of dominoes. the demand for coal, transportation and others are lower. i do not think they are as favorable as ever. on the whole i am in touch with him and his colleagues and his team. as far as i know he is now teaching in a very effective way. i hope that such expert support of what your agency is doing to which i have given so many years of your life -- which you have given so many years of your life and your sympathizing with it, you are in touch with your former colleagues -- i hope your
expert support will continue. as far as the confidence of the public, that is also true. because depending on how much the public can decide to trust the actions of authority our overall effectiveness and competitiveness depends on the amount of trust. >> you have -- when will you bring him back to the power? >> he does not want to. >> have you made offers? >> yes. >> did he refuse? >> yes, he turned it down. >> i believe the guests in our to open up toy discussion. >> he is a slacker. he just sits around.
>> just a few words. i was responsible for the economy for a while the system of half measures and have reforms will not work. russia will not be able to depart from its oil dependence. i am not saying my opinion is most important or is the truth in connacht but there have to be a program -- the truth in connacht but there have to be -- incarnate, butth there have been problems. the inertia processes and micromanagement and other things, this is not what i am ready to do. i am ready to engage in real things. i cannot know how interesting it is for everybody in the studios that we have this kind of discussion. it is not like it is a verbal altercation or something. value his opinion.
the bestcognized finance minister, but not the minister of social development. was he right or not right when he said it is powerful when the accelerators are growing faster than labor productivity? he was right. should we have held it back? some of the things were all ready absurd. for instance the military retirees pensions were receiving less money than the civilians. those needed to have been raised but cannot just be raised out of the blue sky. the money allowance to servicemen needed to be increased. i know your position on this matter. it is very balanced and well.
his colleagues are now handling a lot of money in different banks. monetizeally initiated edition of benefits. monetize asian of benefits. benefits.ation of "you will not be able to do it properly." he said, "we'll do it." the social and political costs were quite high. i actually saw that happen. if nothing had been done at all transport would have stopped in certain regions because the number of people who use benefits increased so much that there were more people who had benefits and paid discount
tickets for transport services and people who paid the full price. the transport system began to fall apart. however the rough measures in the economy without looking at what the patients will be socially, in this country were household incomes of very modest, they believe in abortion. -- they believe in an air show. -- believe in inertia. >> dozens of thousands of folks called the call center and were interested in the corruption. we have a prominent military expert, a retired colonel. i am also an authorized representative of the president of russia. that sometimes you see my opinion. that is why i will speak for exactly as long as he did.
now russia and it's armed forces has been watching how the investigation is going on of the bunch of criminal cases that have plagued our service adn the thehe looming figure of former defesnnse minister. i run into a paradox. hundreds of top notch officials have discovered documents which irrefutably prove that these foster's in the entities of the defense ministry are in fact guilty. we hear statements that there are no facts sufficient to bring them to responsibility.
me as anspect for expert and a reporter as your of rep, why do i have double standards -- why do we have double standards in our justice system? many of those in criminal cases are already in prison. some have dumped their time. some others are in an elite statement -- elite state. they're still writing poetry. poetry is best written from the death of siberia. small questions for you. the russian people has asked me to ask these questions of the some are using the some powerful almighty secret hand is
manipulating the investigation of this immense criminal case. do you know who does hand belongs to? as the guarantor of our constitution, how do you see your role in ensuring that the investigation of this pile of proceed in as , principledst, open manner, rather than become a parody. i would like to ensure confidence that you will not invoke the first article of our constitution. thank you. >> you should not be a reporter, you should be in the justice system. as a lawyer.
i greatly value your support i who that you are someone takes close to heart what is happening in this country and to the armed forces. you have said facts prove the guilt of all individuals you have enumerated. whether or not these facts prove somebody's guilt is only something that can be decided by a court of law. neither aue respect newspaper nor individual members of the mass media nor individual citizens can declare somebody guilty in defense. this can only be done in accordance with the constitution.
as far as who the hand belongs to, i did not know about hands, legs or other body parts. i would like to call your attention to the fact that it did not take long between when i reassumed my position as commander in chief and these cases to be instituted. i think that it is clear that it could have been commenced before. e law enforcement agencies have not been notified there was a problem this investigation is going in an objective way and it will be taken to the very end. a conclusiontively will be drawn as to who is guilty and who is not guilty. if somebody is guilty, guilty of what? and that adequate measures as
provided for by the law will be taken. , over the last few years and recently, have spoken a great deal about humanizing our criminal legislation. humanize nation is not always great when somebody has committed a great crime. in the case of economic crimes remand is considered excessive do not individuals who obstruct the individual investigation, there is no need to remand them and put them away and to find them guilty prematurely. somebody is sitting in siberia.
if somebody is sitting in jail, especially on an unjust sentence should mean that others be taken to jail. what we should look at is not whether or not she is in jail but whether or not others are in jail for a good reason on just sentences. that is what needs to be paid attention to. investigation believes that each -- it is up to investigate. if she is not threaten the investigation did not obstructing the investigation and the end care get in there -- if she is not threatening the investigation -- this case will be seen through to the very end. that does not mean in any way,
shape, or form that out of will bel consideration put these people away at any cost. we should not go back to the dark areas of 1937. if they are responsible will be punished. if they are not responsible to an extent it has to be fed and and under a vote terms. we need to show people they are not responsible. the fact that there are many high-profile cases, that is not the best thing. people should know what is going on and hopefully bureaucrats will understand. we do not have anybody who is above law. as far as the justice system itself, for which there are many complaints, here is a statistic 40. out of the entire number of toes, only 15% of parties superiorappeal to
judicial instance to try andet the sentence reversed. the others are satisfied with the quality of the work. there has been an of criticism. the numbers speak for themselves. only 15%. on hold since into normal international practices. as far as the armed forces, i believe that as an exaggeration. the armed forces are engaged in public corporation. republic operation. there's a great deal of questions regarding the case of oberon's service. the commander in chief know that the defense chiefer -- commander in let the defense minister know?
will this turn into another campaign maundering issue? >> i did not become commander in chief until may the seventh last year. as soon as -- as soon as it was shown to me, including to result carried out by the council chamber, it became clear that the town's chamber was not going to be sufficient and law-enforcement agencies need to get involved and the materials were needed to overturn the prosecutor's office. and my understanding you correctly the previously this case is being hindered? >> previously there were no results available of the audit by the accounts chamber. once the results became available at that time i became president. it was reported to me and i immediately gave instructions to turn it over to the investigative -- to the investigators. >> what about campaign monitoring?
>> corruption exists everywhere. just take my word for it. what difference is the level of corruption. is beyondorruption the pale. society onthreat to the whole. will try to finish off in the extent possible. bureaucrats are not allowed to have accounts abroad. they have to report their income and expenses. many see this as a good, positive initiative. think -- and many others believe things are being overdone it to you think things are being overdone or are -- are
being overdone. do you think things are being overdone or underdone? believe nothing is being overdone. as far as underdone, we look at the results of the fight against corruption. on the whole, last year over 800 individuals were brought to criminal responsibility who have the so-called special legal status. that is a reference to members of the law-enforcement system, legislative said various levels. over 800 of those. this is not just individual cases that have become high profile. there are many of them in this country. that is what we will continue to work. you heard my position regarding the oberon service case. only a court of law can decide whether or not an individual is
guilty. hoped that i've nothing will be overdone. unfortunately remains the case. jail andsitting in perhaps some unjustly. ago i was at the board of the jailer constitutions office. discussed in great deal that there must be no violations in the law-enforcement system. they must be identified if there are any and responded to. >> there are some very clever tricks. >> -- only to not clear the joint property. >> as far as your question concerning reporting income and reporting expenses and a ban on accounts, some of our liberal
economists believe that a ban on account is bad. that is a restriction on certain russian citizens. i would like to emphasize that any citizen is allowed to keep their money where they see fit, including a foreign a mental institution. not only did i agree to that i supported it. too often have our citizens been taken to the cleaners. in the early '90s all of the savings were burned. in 1998 people lost everything again. people should have the freedom of choice. there is a certain category of people who make a conscious choice of being a public servant and decide for themselves what matters are worth more. what could keep their money abroad or serve the citizens of the russian federation at the high positions.
there is another extremely important thing. if somethingps their money on thehe always depends government system of the money -- government system of the country. make a choice. if he wants to be public servants nobody is taking away his money. people work in the area of the economy over the government with both members of the parliament house -- they do not trust their own economic system. let them bring their money back here and then there will be more chances that they will work harder and strengthening our own national financial, economic system. of course
>> of course the high profile stored in the last few weeks -- we would like you to clarify the situation. was there a letter? did the results of the letter did you? >> i would rather not talk on the subject but of course it did inappropriate to avoid discussing this matter. the second letter -- it was the same language, the same text. there were letters, not one letter. >> could you read us -- >> one was fully had written and the other was partially and britain. the header was handwritten. the was given to me
by one of his former business partners. the second one was given to meet very recently, also by a business partner of his but a foreign national. >> can you give us any details at all? isas a matter of fact it already in the media. he does write that he believes he made many mistakes, caused damage, and to be given an opportunity to return to his own country. why was not this letter shown? in the west there have been accusations that these letters are fairly personal, even though we have never had a close personal relationship. he approached me with a request. mee of my colleagues around ask me to immediately publish
his letter and i am extremely grateful to god for preventing me from doing so. i like to clarify one more thing. >> did you respond to the letter you received in february? >> no. is taken part in and do other things. can pardon and do other things. consult the had to supreme court. i would not understand the legal aspect of the case. there was no permission from me that is required. >> one more question, how plausible to you think the an operation of
intelligence services is it? >> we do not have the information. >> going back to the conversation of security services and intelligence services. a lot has been said of the last few days. dosed that these have taken place recently. the stewardess services are investigating the terror attacks in the boston. russia russia -- in there is a tremendous number of questions. the most frequent question goes --e this, and i am quoting
there's no confidence after he does his time. he turns out -- it turns out that such cycles and killers are not afraid of anything in this country. nothing can be punished in this country." >> the matter of capital punishment has been discussed and decided for a long time. sometimes when you deal with something like this in hand -- like this you almost hand over the pen. specialists and criminologists need to be discussed. specialists believe that the toughening of punishment does not eradicate. -- does not regret -- does not eradicate the level of crime. in their own empire there was capital punishment for picku
pockets. the large number of crimes were for things stolen from people's politics -- from people's pockets. this is a textbook example from criminology. when i can sense people's outrage and their desire to punish the criminals. the matter is efficiency. these criminals we are talking about now, or others like them, why would they necessarily be freed? we have such a measure of punishment as life in prison. believe me, the conditions of living there is not the same as living at the resort. >> this is life in prison without parole, which is something they can ask for in 25 years. >> this is something that can be talked about and discussed. i have thought about this as well read in continuation of the american story i will quote yet
another important message. apparently it came from a fellow russian citizen who lives in the united states. he asks "after the terror attack in boston, many americans are dead set against russia because the terrorists have come from the caucuses. the entire american internet is filled with anti russian comments. we have a tense relationship with the u.s.. how are we going to solve this problem? >> i believe the recon files in essence of the nets is have nothing to do with it. i would like them to appeal to our citizenship. to everybody who's watching international issues. tosia is itself a victim national terrorism. it was one of the first nations to fall victim to international terrorism. i have always been enraged by the fact that when our western partners -- your colleagues from
would beethods media referring you as rebels to terrorists who committed atrocities and heinous crimes in the territory of our country. they were almost never referred to as terrorists. the ordinance information support -- they were given information support. we have always said that instead of making declarations that there is a common threat we should engage in joint work and corporation will work closely with one another. now these two criminals have proven that our message was correct in the most effective way possible. you can discuss the treacherous separative by the chechnyan people. victimsnly chechyan's
als?hose repris no. this is our common history. what does the united states have to do with it? it is not about the ethnicity at all. as i have sent thousands of to states andme give us citizenships. just look how far they have gone. politicians have gone as far to suggest the surviving criminal be cleared at pow. are they completely nuts? what kind pows? they brought the civil war between the north and south? it is like they are talking out
of god knows what. i am saying all of this not to accuse somebody of cementing -- accuse somebody of something. i am calling for us to use this tragedy to come closer to a more condensed these, and threats. one of the most dangerous and important threats, which is terrorism. if we do bring our efforts together we will not take these punches and suffering these kind of losses. this week paz radio address book president obama and republican house transportation committee chairman, bill schuster, talked about sequestration. the president called for bipartisan cooperation to help alleviate the effects of the automatic budget cuts. the congressmen talks about legislation passed credit to avoid furloughs of about 1500 air traffic controllers. >> hello, everybody. my top priority -- a top priority as a nation must be
going the economy, creating jobs and rebuild the economy from the middle class. two months ago congress allowed a series of federal budget cuts to fall across the government that would do the opposite in washington these cuts recall the sequester. it was a bad idea then as the countries of this week it was a bad idea now. kids got kicked out of head start programs that are scrambling for a solution. there are senior to depend on programs like meals on wheels to live independently. there are military communities, families that have sacrificed enough, who are coping the new strains all because of these cuts. this week to sequester hurt travelers, who were stuck for hours on planes and are rightly frustrated by it. the members of congress who insisted on these cuts finally realized that they actually applied to them too. republicans claimed victory when the sequester first took effect
and now they decided it was a bad idea all along. theirthey should look at own budget. if the but they proposed required across the board the faa would require -- would suffer cuts three times deeper. fall cuts are scheduled to across other parts of the government to provide final services for the predicted provide vital services to the american people. we cannot keep putting band-aids on every cut. there's only one way to truly fix the sequester, by replacing it before it causes for the damage. a couple of weeks ago i put forward a budget that replaces the next several years of these dumb cuts with smarter cuts, reforms to tax codes with closing at special-interest loopholes and a focus on research, manufacturing that will create new jobs right now, and education. i hope congress will find some sense of urgency and bipartisan cooperation to help the families who are affected by these cuts. members of congress may not feel
the pain of kids getting kicked off of head start for the 750,000 americans projected to lose their jobs because of these cuts, where the long-term unemployed who will be hurt by them. worked toon people hard for too long rebuilding one in the big one economic crisis to see your officials build more. -- worked too hard for too long rebuilding the economic crisis to see your officials build more. if we workhat together. that is what you expect, that is what i am going to keep on working on every single day to help deliver. thank you so much. i and congressman bill schuster and i am part of the chamber house -- the transportation infrastructure committee.
travelers are fed up and rightly so. sequestration is bad policy and is the long -- is the wrong way to reduce the deficit. after a public outcry the obama administration agreed to end -- to a solution to end these delays. it should not have taken this long and you deserve an explanation on what happened from the get go the federal of aviation administration could have acted on its own to responsibly and let the president's sequester without inflicting this kind of pain on the public. they could have cut spending elsewhere, they could have taken into account in a traffic patterns and make sure controls would be in place where it is most needed. or they could have reached up to congress and the airlines and have a plan in place at a time. osted blanketaa pu furloughs.-board
there was somebody who thought into the pain on the public would give the president morgan -- would give the president more leverage. the problemfix immediately the obama administration spent days claiming its hands were tied when just the opposite was true. the government's top lawyers, -- stop lawyers during the clinton and bush and ministration came out. members of both parties asked the faa to explain its decision making. the pressure worked and again we have seen that when people speak out the government has an obligation to listen. episode is another demonstration about why we need to replace the present's sequester was smarter cuts. the american people deserve
better and the leaders of washington have an obligation to respect your time and money. we begin planning a had time to make sure the president's sequester would not interfere with the poor -- would not interfere with the business of the people. the first vote of the majority in 2011, we focused on making operations more efficient and cost-effective. the house is on track to save taxpayers more than $400 million in operational costs. we have shown working families we can do more with less. this nothing to pat ourselves on the passover, it is just what the government looks like. thank you for making your voice heard and enjoy the rest of your weekend. >> josh stokes of daniel hand high school in madison, connecticut, is the grand prize winner in this year's c-span student cam competition. he makes the case that unemployment should be the president's top priority in 2013. >> hi. i'm malcom. come to my hometown of madison,
connecticut, and you might find it hard to believe that unemployment is one of the biggest problems facing america. however, a two-hour train ride will take you into the heart of united states -- downtown manhattan. population 1,600,000. 136,000 of which are unemployed. staggering. we spoke with jeff buggee ,who lost his job just over two years ago. he has been looking for work ever since. >> going back to when i first became unemployed, i was probably very guilty of this, too, thinking that once i get a job, everything is better, not realizing how systemic it is and how unemployment affects many things in your life. >> you start to see addiction issues, marital strife because of all the things associated with the psychological burden of worry, stress. from health, losing your home, self-esteem, even friends, inviting people over. you're not able to have people
over. it is a domino effect. i cannot even begin to tell you how long you're into it. the worse it gets, you are unemployable because you have been out of work for so long. it goes on and on. >> you have got specialized skills. if you don't use those skills, they're going to deteriorate. now we are in another vicious circle where if your skills are deteriorating, you are that much less likely to get hired again. unemployment is a very serious issue for reasons beyond just my paycheck, i do not even get into health insurance. most people get health insurance through their job. what happens if somebody gets sick? >> i hurt my back many years ago. just out of college. i was also diagnosed in 1993 with lung disease. a systemic disease. don'tunemployed -- you have access to the healthcare.
and doctors won't accept medicaid. i have been lucky with my lung doctor. it is one more stigma associated with being unemployed. citizensrage, u.s. collecting unemployment checks receive around $300 a week, which adds up to about $15,600 per year. as you can imagine, this does not go along way when you have car insurance, rent, food, clothing, home taxes, heating, electricity and more. eventually, what little money is left over will soon be spent on other necessities, and unemployed americans will have to borrow money from friends and family or lose their belongings. >> the best social program is a job. a job does give you a paycheck and provides a means to support yourself and your family. more important than that, it
provides dignity and self-worth for people that they know they are contributing and that they know that they are capable of not being dependent on the government or family or charitable groups. beene of the things i've blessed with -- before i became unemployed, i was one of the founders of taking veterans fishing out of our church, where we would take veterans out of the hospital and take them out for a relaxing day fishing out of the clinical hospital setting. close2007, we have taken to 2000 veterans out. wasin beginning, when i really struggling to continue to look for work, before my health limited that, looking for jobs, the employment market -- what happened was i discovered that i could be very successful at fishing. part of my ongoing fight with the disability insurance, i was
depressed. wasnot at work, my home being foreclosed on, i am not exactly a bundle of joy everyday. they said we would like you to see a psychiatrist. i went and saw a psychiatrist and told them the things i was doing. getsaid -- do you ever down? i said, of course i get down. i wake up some days and do not want to get out of bed. it is a terrible situation to be in. to be unemployed, have no income, my home as being foreclosed on, my medical insurance -- i don't exactly feel like a good, it's on the road. >> being laid off is the hardest part of my job here with the economy as tight as it has been over the last four, five years, with the budget shrinking, and a great deal of our budget being invested in our human resources. as budgets cut, we are laying off more and more people.
islaying someone off probably the most difficult thing in business. people we have laid off have been instrumental parts to the growth of our business. i know them personally. i know about their families. so it is a very personal thing. obviouslyyment remains a very significant problem in the country, even though the news has been better. >> in the very near term, there is not a lot the government can do to create jobs. >> this is the worst economic recovery in 70 years. >> the jobless rate has recently leveled out at just over 8%. >> the united states has lost 42,000 factories since 2001. >> somewhere over 6 million people, which is a remarkably high number because the previous record was somewhere around 3 million people.
>> to try to get somebody to relieve my medical conditions. that is my priority. i think i still have a lot to offer society. whether that be a volunteer role that i am doing now, or a paid position, i certainly think that i have something to offer. that is what i hope to do. ♪ >> congratulations to all the winners in this year's student
cam competition. to see more winning videos go to studentcam.org. >> in democracy the purpose of political office is not to fulfill personal aambition. elected officials must serve a cause bigger than themselves, supports come and go. but in the end, leaders are defined by the convictions they hold. my deepest conviction, the guiding principle of the administration is that the united states of america must strive to expand the reach of freedom. >> the dedication of the bush presidential library museum, sunday morning on c-span. >> in about three hours the washington hilton will be the
scene of the correspondence dinner. it brings the biggest names in politics and hollywood. the featured speakers, president obama and talk show host conan o'brien. we'll have it live for you starting with the red carpet arrivals. we'll also show you some of the ctivities going around the district today. we're going to look at some of the speechers from past correspondence dinners. we'll start with 1993, that was the first year that c-span broadcasted the event, the speaker was elayne booler. >> thank you, thank you, mr. mrs. clinton.
thank you for coming. i'm so grateful to have opportunity to entertain you since you have entertained me on c-span so many times. i love c-span. it is like lawmakers in their natural habitat. it is like wild kingdom but with congressman. now a debate on wheat. [laughter] trying to get my cards -- i never work with cards. this is incredible to be here. i was raised in brooklyn, new york in a lower class -- thank you. a predominantly jewish family and this room is slightly less ornate than may parents' dining room. i went to the beauty shop and got my hair trimmed and i went to the barber and had my legs shaved. [laughter]
what a report. what photos, that report should have come out. what a report. i don't know. i think it's incredible. my impression after you admiral - but seriously. a lot of controversy in the armed forces, but thanks to bill clinton women can now fly combat. that is wonderful. they didn't want to put women in combat, they did not put women in combat, they did not know we could fight. i think we can. you see the enemy, i heard him talking, they say you look fat in those uniforms. [laughter] i heard someone say they did not
want gays in the uniform because they don't like to do the eskimo chant. this is not -- you know the chant, i don't need to say it. this is not the first military sex scandal. remember a couple of years ago the secretary of defense, this man was qualified, totally qualified he would have been a good secretary of defense but he did not get the job because he was called a womanizer. this is the guy you want in front of the bombs, the guy that wants to live. let this be the man in charge of nuclear weapons. the man is smoking, drinking, and trying to get laid and he wants to make it to another saturday night. we never would have another war,
nuke them john, i'm not nuking anybody, we have to pick up the girls. did we need the gulf war? it ailed out a country that is ok to kill your wife in the towns square. women in power never have sex scandals. some male bim bow is going to ride out of the desert. o. we don't have a word for male imbo -- ok, senator. [applause] that is the biggest joke across america, you will be delighted to know. why are we so concerned about
other people's sexual lives? who are we that we're so busy with other people's sexual lives. did we find this country for live and let live? that is not who we are. we're the puritans. do you know why we came here? because they were thrown out of europe before gig a god damn pain in the ass. that's right. [laughter] the king said look at you with those bonnets, you dress from your chin to your toes get the hell out of here. you're the most aanyoning people we have on this continent. we like wine, we like singing nd dancing, go to america.
go explain mike anglo to jesse helms. we came here with our starched clothes, we dressed the indians, we dressed the turkeys, we dressed the salad. sex sales in america. they use sex to sell everything in america, mostly women. put women's breasts on the flag and everyone will pledge allegiance. they put breasts as close to that car without it being optional. i mean it. a man is trying to watch the game, this is what he sees, breast, cars, breasts, men are so easily him know tiesed. like in a month a man wakes up and says i will by one of those cars. maybe i will be two and stick my head in between them. don't know.
[laughter] look at magazines, people buy "hurvings ok i buy ustler". we send such mix signals about sexuallity because nobody know what is the right thing is. i read a big article in "u.s.a. today" buzz i like getting my hard news with a pie chart. [laughter] it softens the blow, doesn't it? so the heinous crimes are in blue? [laughter] i ring the door in sexual surveyed today, they
men and they did not recognize sexual harassment because if their female boss tried to sleep with them it would be wonderful. women run away from the same thing that men run towards. men tell each other about strip club, maybe not here. you have to see this club, it was totally naked and table dancing. they dance naked on your tail. -- table. women never have this conversation. now wait a minute. i'm going to try to eat my dinner and a naked man is going to -- i get this all day at work, do you think i need this after work? women run wag, men are -- what is sexual harassment.
we know what it is. it season inappropriate time to suggest sex. men have trouble with this concept because men cannot believe that if a woman is at work typing a letter she actually wants to finish the letter. if a man is typing a letter he is killing time so he can have sex again. [laughter] women spend their lives completing tests, men are killing times -- there is nothing a man would not interrupt if sex was available. call nasa, i got the satellite, i got the satellite. what do you do? good sex education, thank god we have an administration that believes in sex education. it is true. ronald reagan wanted to take sex education out of the schools because he believed that sex
education caused promiscuity. i took algebra, i never do math. ok, i can't do math. not my fault. they said work on a separate piece of paper. i used to draw me looking at someone else's paper. i went to college in florida, where all kid goes who can't get into college. trying o years in tampa to transfer only sears would take those credits. our fortune pissed away. that was my mother's answer for everything. mom, why don't you go the bathroom in the bank and get some interest on that account.
we need sex education in school because you don't get it at home. my mother said sex is a natural bodily function, like a stroke. [laughter] it wasn't better under president bush, he was against abortion but for capital punishment. poken like a true fisherman, throw them back and kill them when they are bigger. the best thing is separation between church and state. it is great to live the way you want and not impose it on other people. the vatican said no surrogate mothers. good think they did not make that rule before jesus was born. people should live the way they
want and let live. you know, i have a terrible, disgusting fantasy i would like to do to this woman. i will tell you. it's awful. do you know what i want to do, i want to tie her to a chair and force her to watch people minding their own business. [laughter] people deserve sex education. my sister got pregnant in high school. fast thinger, told my parents it was a science project. my parents sent her away. e neighbors would say why -- where is she, she is vacationing n puerto rico? look at the mess in waco, a man thought he was in jesus. it happens.
it does, people walk around under all kinds of delugses. there's men walking around thinking they are jesus, they are thinking that congress will pass their budget in the first 100 days. [laughter] by the way, congratulations on your first 100 days. i think it is a fine first 100 days. no one should be judged on 100 anything. these are writers, if they were judged on the first 100 words nothing would happen. that is the set up. i feel guilty because i was at your inaugural and i met someone at your inauguration who lives near me. i fell in love and i feel so guilty because i had such a better 100 days than you did. [applause]
of course, i had more cooperation in the house, you know. here's my advice to you, if you want it to be as wonder as mine was, no matter what the house and the senate says, just say yes, darling. there are so many sides to the story and i believe the f.b.i.'ses story that he started the shootout and then shot himself in the back. janet reno took the responsibility, she said i did not have a nanny, get off my back. trange timing. speaking of first ladies, you know -- [laughter] i'm so proud that your ours. i am.
so totally happy about you and i love during the campaign they kept attacking your head band. i thought that was a good sign. because if you can't attack someone's charm, wit, and education, you attack their headband. i did crossfire on new year's day. we wanted to look back at the year and leek forward. i was expecting some tough grilling and all he wanted to talk a was your headband. it was so definite. elayne, maybe you can answer this. hillary clinton wore a headband at the beginning of the campaign. people did not like it, she took it off. do you think it is honest to take off the headband just to win a campaign? then when he she won, she put it back on, what does that mean? i said, bob, you have entirely too much time on your hands.
[laughter] it's a good beginning. janet reno, you're on her side, that's good. look at the world trade center, people blue up the world trade center, they got the people. they got the guy who blue up the world trade center because he went back for his depose it is. a middle east terrorist and he went back for his deposit. it was such a jewish thing to o. well, i would have gone back for my deposit. when you're raised without money -- i had to wear irregulars. do you know what that is? anything made wrong you get either cheaper. i used to sleep on a sheet with
sleeves. saw the paper yesterday that terrorism has gone down. that's good. i think people worry about crime. i have six locks on my door all in a row. when i go out i lock every other one. they are always logging three no matter how long they stand and pick the locks. way too many guns in america, that's my opinion. i can't believe george bush did not want to outlaw automatic weapons. he said it might infringe on hunting weapons. if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. can't you kill a deer with 80 rounds? rounds, im with 80 remind me to never let you use my bathroom.
do you know what people do on new year's eve? they fire guns in the straight in the air and the bullet comes down and kills you. do you know why they do that? because firecrackers are illegal. how did drugs get into america? big tons, i can low drugs are flying into this country. you can't get into this country with a plant or a piece of fruit. drugs are flying into this country and a guy is sitting under an armed guard and holding a half a bag of grapes and an apple, he is never getting out. i try to sneak in a leather jacket from italy. i'm going to put it under a 10 block pound of heroin and watch it sale through this country.
i'm crossing the street, i'm in front of a man's car. he light changed and he had to ait one extra second for me to clear his car and he yells out re. window, who women worry a crime. you see in the paper, this guy got off for rape because the woman was not wearing underwear because the jury thought she was asking for it. i wear two pairs of underwear when i'm at home. they are a group. if one just misses, you know. don't want your pity.
i like human behavior. you look at terrorists who take hostages. it is fascinating that it took seven years in the middle east to get the hostages out. we never got hostages faster because it's the wrong approach. every time a terrorist takes a host g we threaten to kill them. let's threaten them with life. you know you're going to make it o 80 or 90 years old give them life. you got me, kill me. no we're going to fill you with vitamin, you're going to live. we're going to buy you 50, 60 years, you get to look for little pieces of paper. 50 years of double dating.
killing me, kill me. waiters, happy birthday to -- i don't want to floss again. facing life, that is a hard one. what do i know? i did have a teacher in florida, this is the truth. he said we would never have a oman president because their hormones fluctuate once a month and he is too erratic. if we had a woman president do you hit it would be like, the nerve of you have the nerve to capture a terrorist on the day i'm retaining water. i hate the way my hair came out today. i do like c-span a lot. you get to know your representatives, the bob dole, the mr. wilson of government.
get that bill clinton out of my yard. get him out of here. see that guy? hat a sour puss on that guy. why don't we pass out? it is a pleasure to meet al gore. it is wonderful talking to you and you're warm and funny and charming as well as tipper. people write terrible things about people, they right you're stiff. remember al gore is a heart beat away from the vice presidency. [laughter] a wonderful man, so much confidence that you're here and you're involved with the environment. earth day last week. a hot dog lasts 20 year buried in a pile of dirt, three days in the refrigerator. we have a smoking patch now.
nicotine soaks it and you quit smoking. twinkie orks, i have a underneath many my hair. i've seen businessmen at airports with a hooker taped to their neck. i'm trying to save my family. what is the scientific breakthroughs we're going to get more accurate food labeling this year. what is 8% less fat on a label mean to us? ce cream, butt extender. [laughter] pepperidge farm, i have to make a decision. don't want to hear the cholesterol again. our parents smoke camel els,
getting fat, they are 114 years old now. cholesterol, you can't eat pork because of cholesterol. a pig is all pork. they live forever. [laughter] pigs don't have heart attacks at the gym. he pig goes to vet, you're all pork there. i did not eat tuna fish for years because dolphins get stuck in the net. we can eat it now because they announced their dolphin free tuna. no dolphin will die for this tuna, only tuna will die for this tuna. if you look past these people in the water, this tuna jumped up and said excuse me. do you think it is because they
are cuter than us. if those dolphins tasted like lobster you would not care if old people were getting caught in the nets. we're saving them because they did not taste good. last year in colorado, a woman with a big fur coat, i said did anyone throw paint on you yet? she said it's fake i said did anyone throw acrylic paint on you yet? they are going to put billboards in outer space. don't you want to look up and see south of the border only 900 light years away. cnn is incredible with the specials they do. they called hurricane andrew -- my parents lost their home and i did not realize it. i turned on the news and i see my parents house blow away.
it just goes. but there's my parents standing there and they are safe and whole and healthy. i thought not moving in with me. [laughter] i got even with my parents for my childhood. they came to stay with me for the weekend in my first gument, i made them sleep in separate bedrooms. my mother said what are you crazy i've been sleeping with him for years. i said i don't care what you're doing on the outside but when you're in my house. it is toasty. you had your filibuster, i'm just doingal short show. i thought the talk was great, the baseball, because you got it
there. i did it in seattle, it was like amtrak it was so bad. it because go throw. saw the o's play the a's and 1,000 people came out to the stadium, they did not sing the star-spangled banner, everyone in the crowd stood up and told a little bit about themselves. i sang the star-spangled banner for the mets once. you like it, stop being appalled. yeah, i sang the anthem and they said bring ear plugs it is a big echo. i had such worries about the echo and i stepped out and i
start the song, no echo. i'm singing my heart out. halfway through i hear myself begin the star-spangled banner, louder and i'm thinking i'm in hell with the mcguire sisters. you can't find the tune, you can't get back in it. i was actually thinking i'll low down, i'll catch up. i root for the mets and they say you're from brooklyn, why don't you root the dodgers? i said they left. when the nine men leave me i don't continue to root for them. they traded way the best center fields. sitting not believe --
chiva is mourning for jewish people when a player is traded for someone to be named later. i felt myself age. darn. don't you hate when that happens. it is wonderful that she's here tonight and she did the wonderful special on female elections until government. thank you for doing that. she described them as storming the capitol. it was terrific. we had feinstein until california and it was incredible how the media happened. it was the two women, they were not separate people anywhere. any gosh, they were going say feinstein xer so could have someone to go the
bathroom. men have it made. a man gets a little gray it is distin wished. it is rugged, cha it does not work like that for women. when a woman has a pot belly and a bald spot, there is not one man in this room that would sleep with a woman who has one hair and wrapped it around her head. we have to work harder on everything. guys have leeway on everything. when we come out of the ocean -- men do it and they are thinking about lunch. did you bring fruit? here's another noise you don't hear from women -- we don't do that. we don't have to surprise the person walking behind them in the wind. can't you give us a warning.
can't we just heard stand back ladies. you think i'm picking on you. women have noises too. remember the girls in school who can sneeze like this -- i tried it but i blew my contract out of my eardrum. i saw rainbows, i saw black voting in south africa. some women are so dainty they made no noise. wow, bless you. [laughter] maybe they can find each other. hello. i saw her first. step outside. i think men who do this at the beach, it is not your fault. you've heard, pick up the shells, you can hear the ocean, pick up a bike and you can hear the ocean. you're at the beach. put the shell down and you can
hear the shell twice as loud. it is like finding a hub cab in the street, i can hear a bus. thank you so much for inviting me here tonight. i hope you had a good time. thank you. >> online, we have a special page set up for this year's dinner. speeches from past dinners, you can watch, clip, and share the coverage of tonight's dinner, including remark from the president and conan o'brien. check out tweets from celebrities and politicians, just go to c-span.org and click white house correspondents' dinner. >> she married at the age of 16. during the civil war she sneaks byplies to the unionists but the time her president accepts
the presidency she is in poor health and secludes herself to an upstairs bedroom. monday night live at 8:00 p.m. eastern on c-span and c-span3 and c-span radio and c-span.org. the white house correspondence dinner is tonight at the washington hilton. we'll have it live for you starting with the red carpet arrivals, through the awards presentation and we'll hear from this year's featured speakers, president obama and talk show host and comedian co-naan o'brien. we're looking at past correspondent dinners. in 2000 president clinton was giving his final speech as president. this is 20 minutes. [applause]
>> good evening, ladies and gentlemen. am really happy to be here. happy to be reunited at long last with the white house press corp.. if i may, let me direct your -- ntion to a paragraph photo graph. it proves beyond a doubt that i indeed happy to be here. wait a minute. it seems that my hair in that
photo is a little longer than it is tonight. [laughter] so maybe i am happy to be here and maybe i'm not. eel free to speculate. it proves that looks in frothes can be deceiving. look at this one. this is the vice president applauding one of my policy initiatives. but look a little closer. hose are not his real hands. now this photo. it made all the papers but i have to tell you something. i am almost certain this is not the real easter bunny.
the next one is my favorite, i really like it. let's see the next photo. [laughter] sn't it grand? [applause] i thought it was too good to be true. but there is one thing beyond this tonight, this is really me. i am really here. and the record on that count is clear and good days and bad and days are great confidence or controversy i have showed up here for eight straight years. [applause]
looking back, that was probably a mistake. [laughter] just eight years i've given you enough material for 20 years. this is a special night for me for a lot of reasons. jay leno is here. [applause] now, no matter how mean he is to me, i love this guy. because together, together we give hope to gray-haired, chunky baby boomers everywhere. [applause]
tonight marks the end of an era, the after dinner party hosted by "vanity fair." as you may have heard it's been canceled. every year for eight years the "vanity fair" party became more and more exclusive. so so tonight it has arrived at its inevitable conclusion. this year no one made the guest list. i heard the bloomberg party will be harder to get into. but i'm not worried. i'm going with janet reno. [applause] now, the party is the cast party for the stars of the "west wing" who are celebrating the end of
their first season. i to have give them credit, their first season got better ratings than mine do, not mention the reviews. the critics hated my travel ffice episode. that david cameo, fell completely flat. speaking of real life drama, i'm so glad that senator mccain is back tonight. i welcome him specially. as you all know -- [applause] as you all know he made a difficult journey back to a place where he endured unspeakable abuse at the hands of his oppressers, the senate republican caucus. [laughter]
[applause] i am glad to see that senator mccain and governor bush are talking about healing their rift, or they are thinking about talking about healing their rift. you know, i would really like to help them. i've got a lot of experience with ng rifts, i worked catholics and protestants, i worked with joe lockheart and david westin. the differences between bush and mccain may be too vast. i mean mccain is bush's running mate, hasn't the man suffered enough? [applause]
george w. bush has a brand spanking new campaign strategy. he's moving toward the political center. distancing himself from his own party, stealing ideas from the other party. i'm so glad that morris has inally found work again. the clock is running down on the republicans in congress too. i feel for them, i do. they only got seven more months to investigate me. [laughter] that's a lot of pressure, so little time, so many unanswered questions. for example, over the last few months i've lost 10 pounds.
where did they go? why haven't i produced them to the independent council? how did some of them manage to ind up on tim russell? now, some of you might think i've been busy writing my memoirs. i'm not concerned about my memoirs, i'm concerned about my resume. ere's what i got so far. career objective, to stay president. but being realistic i could consider an executive position with another country. [laughter] i would prefer to stay within
the g.a. i'm working hard on this resume deal. i've gotten tips on how to write it, mostly from my staff, they seem to be up on this stuff. they tell me i have to use the active voice with a resume, things like commanded u.s. armed forces, ordered air strikes, served three terms as president. verybody embellishes a little. designed, built, and painted bridge of 21st century. [applause] supervised vice president sensation of -- invention of the internet. generated, attracted,
heightened, and maintained controversy. i know lately i have not done a good job at creating controversy. 'm sorry for that. you all have so much less to report, i guess that is why you re commenting on my mood, my quiet contemplated moments, my feelings during the final months in office. in this case, you might be interested to know that a film crew has been following me around the white house, documenting my remaining time there. this is a strange time in the life of any administration but i think this short film will show that i have come to terms with it. can we see the film? >> the vice president and the first lady out on the campaign
trails things aren't as exciting as they used to. . >> there is bipartisan support for it in congress and it meets the principles that i out in my state of the union. if they send me the bill in its present form, i will sign it. ok, any questions? [laughter] >> are you still here? >> radio doesn't capture the sadness, the isolation of it all. >> joe? nybody home? john? maria?
>> what am i going to ask the guy? i have nothing to ask him. he's yesterday's news. >> white house? hold please. hello? white house, please hold. hello, white house? please hold. no, he is not here, would you ike his voicemail? >> i'm worried about him. this morning, he came into the oval office for the meeting and i said, mr. president, is everything all right? he says what is the matter? i said mr. president you're -- pa jam mapa jam
bottoms. >> i wish i could be here more but bill has everything under control. >> wait! wait! >> i think his legacy will be the natural environment. improving the country. >> i have i urge him to spend more time on that. >> the president's schedule is just as busy as ever. e does different things. [laughter]
you're riding the wave of the future. what do you want to buy? >> i want to buy a smoked ham. >> ok. name your own price, my man. >> let's do it. >> you did it, my man. [laughter] >> you sunk my battleship. [laughter] >> i want to thank the attackmy for this tremendous honor. every since i was a little boy i wanted to be a real actor.
someone give a speech. agdd, attention getting deficit disorder. plus, which i would be burned up when al gore turns out to be funnier than me. it, let me say to all of you, have loved these eight years. you know i read in the history books out other presidents say that the white house is like a penitentiary and every motive they have is questioned, and they say they can't wait to get away. i don't know what the heck they have talking about. i've had a wonderful time. it is fun to serve and fun to laugh. i wish we laughed more the last eight years because power is not the most important thing in
life. it only accounts for what you use it. i thank for you do every day. thank you for all the fun times that hilary and i have had. keep at it. it's a great country it deserves our best. thank you and god bless you. [applause] [captioning performed by the national captioning institute] [captions copyright national able satellite corp. 2013] >> we've been showing you past moments of white house
correspondents' dinner and one of the interesting features is to see which celebrities have been invited. is year bloomberg is hosting barbra streisand. cnn will host paul rudd and elizabeth banks. this year's featured speakers, president obama and talk show host and comedian conan o'brien. we'll have live coverage from the red carpet adeprive valleys here on c-span. we're showing some of the speechers from the past correspondents dinner. in 2001, the featured speaker was darrell hammond, the "saturday night live" alum. his is about 30 minutes. >> thank you very much. despite what i do for a living
and where i do it, it is an honor and privilege to perform for the president of the united states. that said, -- [laughter] i would like momentarily to .evisit the former presidency i feel, if nothing else, that it was a fun presidency. [laughter] like, really fun. like every day he be in a different jam. not a fender bender. no, no, the kind of stuff that james bond can't get out of. i mean -- it gets caught on camera lying and not by a camera but by all cereals on planet
earth. how does he get out of it? by debating the meaning of e word is. even james bond would be like full marks lads, i would be forced to use a jet pack. but as wonderful as the drama was when mr. clinton went on tv and copped to the whole thing, if i was him i would not just say i misled you and i deeply regret it. i would look into the camera and say i want to speak to just the men in the audience for a second. [laughter]
fellas, fell las, you all know my wife and i want you to put ourself in my shoes. 20-year-old intern, big ole boobies. what would you do? i think you know the answer, i think i do to. now i want to speak to the women in the audience. dies, i live at 1600 pennsylvania avenue. ring the night bell. he was a fascinating man. he is not as confident as mrs. clinton, i found. he almost doesn't use the
southern accent. e was more like -- maybe geisha. because, you know mrs. clinton has -- i don't know over the last i guess eight years or so when she smiles, her mouth will but her eyes won't. it gives you the impression that over the last eight years that laughter and rage are indistwingishable. i can't believe i'm here. i don't know if you watch our show. is richard dreyfus here? awesome actor, he gave me a little advice. he says look, these people are a
fction political machine. all they do is barbecue and tell jokes about jewish people. that's it. >> this is a great building. it reminds me of the great ballroom from titanic. i enough if it sinks you're getting the good seeds. him on histed ability to control a room. i wonder if that room would be, maybe the debt is a little stacked. is a little stacked. i am tired. i cannot take it anymore.
i wanted to play on tv, he does talk a little bit like other people type. in my plan, rather than squander it on the wealthy, i would put it in what i call a lock box. onlyock box would be used for social security and medicare. it would have to different blocks. locks.different one key would be kept by the president's and the other would be a magnetic container placed under the bumper of the senate majority leader's car.
to our appearances, the lock box would be camouflage. boundld be a leather edition of the count of monte christo. it would not be. it would be a lock box. i am going to tell you what. can i do some more of him? do theked a year to damage that. ntb him. -- and you beat him. [laughter] [applause] let me tell you about a fr
iend of mine. she is a widow living on welfare. she was formed only one kidney. she often suffers from polio, spinal meningitis, pancreatic diabetes, and a rare form of acne. several recent strokes as well as the recent sharp attack that and missingalyzed her right leg below the knee. just last week she awoke from a coma at to find that due to a hospital mixup her left arm had been amputated, infected with syphilis, and then reattach. prescriptionagine,
drug bills are staggering. they ran to nearly $113 million a day. some weeks sheat or to choose between eating treating her lyme disease. under my plan the prescription drugs would be covered. under my opponent's plan, her house would be burned to the ground. i am sorry. that is just wrong. that is just plain wrong.
did you watch the election night hat it was just fascinating -- night? it was fascinating. the evening. we've got more action than a pair of jumper cables. i am i getting out of here alive, and my. let's take a look at sports. they lead the heat. this project be phoenix suns have won the game. they will take this game and
take it with the moon do not shine. the houston rockets' lead the trailblazers. moment they hold this as too close to call. one of the other networks might be calling these earlier. some of these are shakier than ted kennedy in a whorehouse with a full bar. you can bet your mother's maxi pad we have called the winner. you want to wake up the kids the nbay're projecting champions. it is based on earlier
mall and those "he did not turn out to good." i would be in my bedroom practicing porky pig. my father would be standing there. ?hat in the hell is doing itur son again. he is talking like porky goddamn pig. not son of a bitch is normal. he cannot really escape the human condition. the sooner or later you will fall in love. later you take that
it is the only one i love. we can play catch some time if you want. i love to play catch that the president of the united states. -- i love to play catch with the president of the united states. a gathering of two senatorial candidates from the state of new york, home of the buffalo bills. emerging from the controversy of her husband's at the initiation to the position despite no political experience.
i did hear a rumor that you brought your laundry. that would not be right. i cannot buying these dam things. they have to be here somewhere. that too many papers for you. i will just close a something about women and politics. problemsomen solve faster than men. this could be because i had my head kicked in a few times. are in an argument with someone. you are really yelling. it hits you that you are wrong. this is when you know you are in
love. you start to leave. you have a strong family background. marriage is still good. just when you think you're not going to do it, that is when you are like a terminator and its long way. even the president must know this. you get all these rules for the house. how long can they stay there? you better know. somebody knows. since there's only two of you on the rules committee, how much do you want to bet it is not new? you do not get divorced because
the thrill is gone. you do not know how to stack the tapes right. my ex tried hard. the was big enough for all topics to come up at one time. when she yelled at me it was like being yelled at by an auctioneer. i mean, i'm not saying i did not love it. it is confusing. i cannot have any sex jokes. my wife is german. german does not seem to be the most romantic language ion the earth.
women can fight with both sides of the brain. it is like fighting the devil. we have a lot of good qualities. people we are to upset. that is how championship wrestling got started people. the darkest moment is when a woman when she stops complaining. we know that silent moment. you go out and have fun. the woman dialed the wrong number. she will check the number and dial again. there's not a man in the pentagon who checked the number and dial again.
we die of the same number. only this time we push those numbers a whole lot harder. this brings me to my pieces. you do not brag about the ability to have a child, which is astonishing. someone has to hear the story about how against all odds which is less of back in the house. and women have this inherent. dina said they can be -- an heaviness the women can still be friends with a man at when they're not interested in them? to you think that is necessary?
>> online we have acialist -- special pace set up for this year. live coverage including remarks from the president and conan o'brien. ets.k out tweak clicko to c-span.org and on 2013 white house correspondents' dinner. there were two battles. there were fought on consecutive days. they second and may 3. may 2 and may 3. it was a day of minimal casualties. the battle of the soldiers. that was a battle of no more movement or maneuvers.
it was just flat out faults. and overwhelming casualties. about 70 5% of all of the losses are going to occur in just five hours. >> with his troops out numbered more than two-one, this may be his greatest victory. more tonight at 10:00 p.m. eastern. in about two hours, at the washington hilton will be the scene for the correspondents dinner. it brings together a washington and hollywood. figure tonight are president obama and conan o'brien. we will have that life for the beginning with the red carpet arrivals. also show you some of the
ladies and gentlemen, i've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. well, i've got a few things i want to say for a change. this is going to be fun because he really doesn't have a clue about what i'm gonna' to say next. george always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. baloney. he's usually in bed by now. i'm not kidding. i said to him the other day, "george, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later."
i am married to the president of the united states, and here's our typical evening: nine o'clock, mr. excitement here is sound asleep, and i'm watching desperate housewives with lynne cheney. ladies and gentlemen, i am a desperate housewife. i mean, if those women on that show think they're desperate, they oughta be with george. one night, after george went to bed, lynne cheney, condi rice, karen hughes and i went to chippendale's.
i wouldn't even mention it except ruth ginsberg and sandra day o'connor saw us there. i won't tell you what happened, but lynne's secret service codename is now "dollar bill." but george and i are complete opposites -- i'm quiet, he's talkative, i'm introverted, he's extroverted, i can pronounce nuclear the amazing thing, however, is that george and i were just
meant to be. i was the librarian who speant 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow i met george we met, and married, and i became one of the regulars up at kennebunkport. all the bushes love kennebunkport, which is like crawford, but without the nightlife. people ask me what it's like to be up there with the whole bush clan. lemme put it this way: first prize -- three-day vacation with the bush family. second prize -- 10 days.
speaking of prizes brings me to my mother-in-law. so many mothers today are just not involved in their children's lives -- not a problem with barbara bush. people often wonder what my mother-in-law's really like. people think she's a sweet, grandmotherly, aunt bea type. she's actually more like, mmm, don corleone. cedric, am i doing all right? i saw my in-laws down at the ranch over easter. we like it down there. george didn't know much about ranches when we bought the
place. andover and yale don't have a real strong ranching program. but i'm proud of george. he's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. what's worse, it was a male horse. now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, the texas chainsaw massacre. george's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw -- which i think is why he and cheney and rumsfeld get along so well.
it's always very interesting to see how the ranch air invigorates people when they come down from washington. recently, when vice president cheney was down, he got up early one morning, he put on his hiking boots, and he went on a brisk, 20- to 30-foot walk but actually, in all seriousness, i do love the ranch, and i love the whole family. i was an only child, and when i married into the extended bush clan, i got brothers and sisters and wonderful in-laws, all of whom opened their arms to me. and included in the package, i got this guy here. i think when you marry someone, you unconsciously are looking
for something in your spouse to help fulfill something in you, and george did that for me. he brought fun and energy into my life and so many other things. george is a very good listener, he's easy to be around, and on top of it all, he's a loving father whose daughters absolutely adore him. so in the future, when you see me just quietly sitting up here, i want you to know that i'm happy to be here for a reason i love, and enjoy being with, the man who usually speaks to you on these occasions. so george and i thank you for inviting us, thank you for all of the good work that you and the press do, and thank you for your very kind hospitality this evening. [captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2013]
>> here's a look at some of the guess that will be attending this dinner. abc is bringing modern cast members. tracy morgan and jessica alba and sophia bush. \ nin speaker of features president obama and conan o'brien. that is like here on c-span. we will continue our look at some of past correspondent
and gentlemen, here i am. >> here i am at another one of these dang press dinners. i could be home asleep. little barney curled up at my feet. to pretend i like being here. the media really ticks me off. the way they tried to embarrass me by not admitting what i say. -- editing what i say. let's get things going or i will never get to bed. >> thank you.
i am delighted to be here. as is laura. >> she is hot. caliente. >> as you know, i always look forward to these dinners. it is just a bunch and media types. >> hollywood liberals, democrats like joe biden. how come i cannot have dinner with the 36% of the people who like me? the only thing missing is
hillarinton sitting on the front row rolling her eyes. there has got to be a friendly face out there somewhere. ,here is justice scalia justice, hey boy. but it feels good to be out from over those robes. toga!toga alex trabec at jeopardy. that guy is smart. maybe i should put him on the supreme court. so good to see some influential guests here
tonight, the justice scalia, justi. >> where is the great white hunter? i am sorry dick cheney cannot be here tonight. >> i agree that he was a little late reporting that hunting episode down in texas. i did not know a thing about it until i saw him on america's most wanted. goofball.what a shot the only trial lawyer in the country who is for me. i tell you. your reporters would go nuts if he knew the true story. he was drunk as a skunk. on one beer. light beer.
people were ducking and diving for cover. i wish i could have been there. i saw him walking down the hallway. i looked at him and said, "don't shoot." people do not see the fun side of dick. dick is a good man. hehas a good heart -- well, is a good man. chipper tonight. i survive the white house shake- up. i want to talk about some serious issues. here it comes. proliferation.
>> nailed it. >> i am an activist. i am a spritning duck, hustling i object to the stories that say i am a lame duck. duck, leadership of the free world duck. i continue to spread our agenda around the world as well as internationally. [laughter] some of my critics call me arrogant. i will not even honor that with a response. screw them. say screw em. let's hit them with some
rhetorical eloquence. my friends, our purple mountains with ramparts red glare with fruity planes gallantly showing with a shining city on a shining hill above a shining. and maybe some shiny trees in a few shrubs i see a shiny america. >> i have a dream. one of those dreams is to eliminate barriers. toaw a wonderful opportunity do that in china on the chinese .ountryside with the premier
i looked him straight in the eye tear said mr. president, it down this wall. you should have seen in his face. i love america. it is full of americans. i believe republican and democrat and john mccain to come together. i believe in bipartisan by bipartinsan -- ship. >> there is the church and there is the steeple. open the door and see the
people. they're happy and wiggling. there is me and senator kennedy on the front row. >> i cannot have said that better myself. regulate good-looking guy right there is steve bridges -- ruggedly a good-looking guy right there is steve bridges. he is a fine talent. in fact, he did all my debates ry.h senator kerre he did most of my news conferences. i want to thank steve for excepting my invitation to be part of this fun evening. my invitation to be part of this funding. it is important to be able to laugh at this job.
thank you for giving us a chance to laugh. i want to share one more thing with you, something in that is never far from my mind. god bless our troops. got less the call for freedom. god bless america. forgod bless the call freedom. god bless america. >> online we have a special page set up for this year's dinner. speeches from past dinners. live coverage of tonight dinner including remarks from the president and conan o'brien. check out tweets and celebrities.
some foul language. he took me in the back way of the laundry room. i laughed him. this where it used to be tax he said you are a republican. i said republicans put me in here. i have to pull up some humor. >> more with bob ney sunday at 8:00. be dinner is being held at the washington hilton. it is starting with the red carpet a rival's. then we will hear from -- arrivals. did you hear from conan o'brien. now we continue our look at speeches from past correspondence jenners. in 2009 marked the first appearance of president obama.
this is 25 minutes. thank you. thank you, everybody. good evening. you know, i had an entire speech prepared for this wonderful occasion, but now that i'm here i think i'm going to try something a little different. tonight i want to speak from the heart. i'm going to speak off the cuff. good evening. pause for laughter. wait a minute, this may not be working as well as i -- let me
try that again. good evening, everybody. i would like to welcome you all to the 10-day anniversary of my first 100 days. i am barack obama. most of you covered me. all of you voted for me. apologies to the fox table. they're -- where are they? i have to confess i really did not want to be here tonight, but i knew i had to come -- just one more problem that i've inherited from george w. bush.
but now that i'm here, it's great to be here. it's great to see all of you. michelle obama is here, the first lady of the united states. hasn't she been an outstanding first lady? she's even begun to bridge the differences that have divided us for so long, because no matter which party you belong to we can all agree that michelle has the right to bare arms. now sasha and malia aren't here tonight because they're grounded. forcen't just take air one on a joy ride to manhattan. i don't care whose kids you are. we've been setting some ground
rules here. they're starting to get a little carried away. now, speaking -- when i think about children obviously i think about michelle and it reminds me that tomorrow is mother's day. happy mother's day to all the mothers in the audience. i do have to say, though, that this is a tough holiday for rahm emanuel because he's not used to saying the word "day" after "mother." that's true. david axelrod is here. you know, david and i have been together for a long time. i can still remember -- i got to sort of -- i tear up a little bit when i think back to that
day that i called ax so many years ago and said, you and i can do wonderful things together. and he said to me the same thing that partners all across america are saying to one another right now, let's go to iowa and make it official. michael steele is in the house tonight. or as he would say, "in the heezy." what's up? where is michael? michael, for the last time, the republican party does not qualify for a bailout.
ash limbaugh does not count a troubled asset, i'm sorry. dick cheney was supposed to be here but he is very busy working on his memoirs, titled, "how to shoot friends and interrogate people." you know, it's been a whirlwind of activity these first hundred days. we've enacted a major economic recovery package, we passed a budget, we forged a new path in iraq, and no president in history has ever named three commerce secretaries this quickly.
which reminds me, if judd gregg is here, your business cards are ready now. on top of that, i've also reversed the ban on stem cell research, signed an expansion signed an expansion of the children's health insurance. just last week, car and driver named me auto executive of the year. something i'm very proud of. we've also begun to change the culture in washington. we've even made the white house a place where people can learn and can grow. just recently, larry summers asked if he could chair the white house council on women and girls. larrydo appreciate that is here tonight because it is
seven hours past his bedtime. gibbs liked that one. in the last hundred days, we've also grown the democratic party by infusing it with new energy and bringing in fresh, young faces like arlen specter. now, joe biden rightly deserves a lot of credit for convincing arlen to make the switch, but secretary clinton actually had a lot to do with it too. one day she just pulled him aside and she said, arlen, you know what i always say "if you can't beat them, join them." which brings me to another thing that's changed in this warmer, fuzzier white
house, and that's my relationship with hillary. you know, we had been rivals during the campaign, but these days we could not be closer. in fact, the second she got back from mexico she pulled into a hug and gave me a big kiss. told me i'd better get down there myself. which i really appreciated. i mean, it was nice. and of course we've also begun to change america's image in the world. we talked about this during this campaign and we're starting execute. we've renewed alliances with important partners and friends. if you look on the screen there, there i am with japanese prime
minister taro aso. there i am with gordon brown. but as i said during the campaign, we can't just talk to our friends. as hard as it is, we also have to talk to our enemies, and i've begun to do exactly that. take a look at the monitor there. now, let me be clear, just because he handed me a copy of peter pan does not mean that i'm going to read it [laughter] -- but it's good diplomatic practice to just accept these gifts. all this change hasn't been easy. change never is. so i've cut the tension by bringing a new friend to the white house. he's warm, he's cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic. you just have to keep him on a tight leash. every once in a while he goes charging off in the wrong direction and gets himself into trouble. but enough about joe biden. all in all, we're proud of the change we've brought to
washington in these first hundred days but we've got a lot of work left to do, as all of you know. so i'd like to talk a little bit about what my administration plans to achieve in the next hundred days. during the second hundred days, we will design, build and open a library dedicated to my first hundred days. it's going to be big, folks. in the next hundred days, i will learn to go off the prompter and joe biden will learn to stay on the prompter. in the next hundred days, our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even john boehner will consider becoming a democrat. after all, we have a lot in common. he is a person of color. thatugh not a color appears in the natural world.
what's up, john? in the next hundred days, i will meet with a leader who rules over millions with an iron fist, who owns the airwaves and uses his power to crush all who would challenge his authority at the ballot box. it's good to see you, mayor bloomberg. in the next hundred days, we will housetrain our dog, bo, because the last thing tim geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant. in the next hundred days, i will strongly consider losing my cool.
finally, i believe that my next hundred days will be so successful i will be able to complete them in 72 days. willn the 73rd day, i rest. i just -- i want to end by saying a few words about the men and women in this room whose job it is to inform the public and pursue the truth. you know, we meet tonight at a moment of extraordinary challenge for this nation and for the world, but it's also a time of real hardship for the field of journalism. and like so many other businesses in this global age, you've seen sweeping changes and technology and communications that lead to a sense of uncertainty and anxiety about what the future will hold. across the country, there are extraordinary, hardworking
journalists who have lost their jobs in recent days, recent weeks, recent months. and i know that each newspap and media outlet is wrestling with how to respond to these changes, and some are struggling simply to stay open. and it won't be easy. not every ending will be a happy one. but it's also true that your ultimate success as an industry is essential to the success of our democracy. it's what makes this thing work. you know, thomas jefferson once said that if he had the choice between a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, he would not hesitate to choose the latter. clearly, thomas jefferson never had cable news to contend with -- (laughter) -- but his central point mas, government without newspapers, a without a tough and
vibrant media of all sorts, is not an option for the united states of america. so i may not -- i may not agree with everything you write or report. i may even complain, or more likely gibbs will complain, from time to time about how you do your jobs, but i do so with the knowledge that when you are at your best, then you help me be at my best. you help all of us who serve at the pleasure of the american people do our jobs better by holding us accountable, by demanding honesty, by preventing us from taking shortcuts and falling into easy political games that people are so desperately weary of. and that kind of reporting is worth preserving -- not just for
your sake, but for the public's. we count on you to help us make sense of a complex world and tell the stories of our lives the way they happen, and we look for you for truth, even if it's always an approximation, even if -- this is a season of renewal and reinvention. that is what government must learn to do, that's what businesses must learn to do, and that's what journalism is in the process of doing. and when i look out at this room and think about the dedicated men and women whose questions i've answered over the last few years, i know that for allhe challenges this industry faces, it's not short on talent or creativity or passion or commitment. it's not short of young people who are eager to break news or the not-so-young who still manage to ask the tough ones time and time again. these qualities alone will not solve all your problems, but they certainly prove that the
problems are worth solving. and that is a good place as any to begin. so i offer you my thanks, i offer you my support, and i look forward to working with you and answering to you and the american people as we seek a more perfect union in the months and years ahead. thank you very much, everybody. thank you. >> and now i have the pleasure of introducing a lovely and talented wanda sykes. i hope you are as excited as i am to hear from her. wanda? thank you, thank you.
this is truly an honor to be here. it really is. i keep getting asked the same question, are you nervous? with this administration, what is there to be nervous about. if i do a good job, i get great press. if i screw it up royally, tim geithner will give me a bonus. understand because it is hard to poke fun at the president, because he is so likable. everybody likes him. t-shirts and bumper stickers and listening to the radio and people are dedicating songs. of like to send out always an forever to mr. president. people love you. even the media. you guys have been very
favorable towards the president. they have never caught the smoking but they somehow always catch you with your shirt off. i know you are into this -- thing, but i do not need to see your nipples. there a beach at cap david? -- at camp david? there was not a nipple portrait of lincoln. .ut this is amazing the first black president. i know you are by ratio, but the first black president -- i know you are bi-racial. you are proud to be able to say that. the first black president. that is a less euskera. -- unless you screw up.
and then it is going to be, what is up with a half white guy? ?ho voted for the mulatto what the hell? must say, mr. president, i thought that when you got into office he would put a swift end your basketball pickup plan. come on. first black president playing basketball. that is one step forward, two steps back. and really, are you any good? i think that you think your game is really nice right now. you think you got good moves. nobody is going to give residents with a hard fall with the secret service standing there. he's bragging. you should have seen me today, a
baby, i was balling. yeah? they are just stroking your ego. mr. president, you shook me that time. i saw the secret service do this and i went that way. right to the hole, sir. that is the thing about you, sir. you are so accessible. playing basketball. i bet you rappers give you their demo. can you get this to jay-z for me? and you are taking the first lady out on dates. i would not be surprised if i walked packed the white house and saw out there mowing the lawn. don't let him get a john deer, please, please.
and you just hang out. i think you hang out too much. you and joe biden out getting a burger. you cannot hang out together. who will you hang with next -- nancy pelosi? gboys go out and get a bite. ou know she was a hillary supporter. what is wrong with you? bidend forbid if joe falls in the hands of terrorists. if there is a hostage situation, we are done. all they have to do is, how was it going, joe? what did you do, did you
waterboard him? i just said nice weather. he is still talking. i cannot listen to many more. it is like torture. so if you guys are running out like that, the secret service. you have to stay on point. you made me a little nervous when those shoes. they are throwing shoes at bush. i did speak to the head of the secret service and to their defense, he told me we do not know how much footwear they stopped. boots, skis. president bush. he knows how to leave town. we have not heard anything from
him. he is quiet. he is like that house guest to break something in your house and tries to get out of there before you find out. you just look at your beautiful vase. who broke my vase? i got to say, he broke a lot of stuff. you thought you were buying a new home. you got a fixer upper. and there are a lot of things that need to be fixed. you try to help, and i'm amazed it will not allow you to help. what is up with this? money? maybe you should get oprah to give it away. look says, ok, governors, under your seat. governor palin, she is not
here tonight. she pulled out at the last minute. somebody should tell her, that is not how you practice abstinence. oh, shut up. you're going to be telling that one tomorrow. shut up. money. especially our school systems. i am so happy you are doing something about education and you want to pay our teachers more, because our teachers are grossly underpaid. pay the teachers more money. they have been in their sleeping with the students. you'll tell that one, too. problems. everybody is complaining about
taxes. nobody wants to pay their taxes. raised taxes. and me, i do not mind paying my fair share. but a lot of people they have problems with. and fancynners occasions and fund raisers. people are shelling out big money for charity. $2,000 a plate. problem that people do not like writing a check. they do not like to dress up. maybe next april 15, you have a big tax ball. get everybody some champagne, bring rascal falts in. have it at the convention center. nailsgetting their done.
as first lady, beautiful always. looks very nice. people give her grief about baring her arms? the country is broke. money. cost you have lovely arms. you let some of these floozies out here no, you can try some funny business if you want to, but you will get one of these babies around your neck. you have beautiful arms. some of the previous first ladies, they need sleeves. they need panchos. i did not name any names. but you do need to keep your arms to yourself sometimes. yeah, you went over to london touching the queen.
you cannot do that. you are over there patting her on the back like she just slid into home plate. way to go, queen. and who's idea was it to give the queen an ipod? what an awful gift. what is she going to do it, download lady gaga? what you're going to give the pope, a bluetooth? given a cleane something like -- a memnto of our country. give her texas. and i have to say to the first lady, kudos to you -- honoring
house.ops in the white can you do me a favor and make sure is nailed down really well. you know when the next white guy comes in they will move into the kitchen. mr. president, you had your fair share of critics. even senator mccain. gaby grief about the new helicopter that you did not order -- he gave you grief. he was bitter because he wanted to be in the helicopter. , i'm sure if you ask nicely your wife will buy you a helicopter. rush limbaugh, one of your big credits. he said he hopes this administration fails. you are saying i hope america fails. i do not care about people losing their homes or jobs or
soldiers. he wants the country to fail. that is treason. he is not saying anything different than what osama bin laden is saying. you might want to look into this. i think maybe rush limbaugh was the 20th highjacker but he was so strong out on ox "the economist" he missed -- on flight. he missed his too much? ok. you are laughing insdie, i know. rush limbaugh, i hope his k idneys fial. how about that? sean hannity said he was going
or sharedterboarded ffo pair he can take a waterboard, please. let somebody from pakistan waterboard. keither olberman. let him waterboard him. just byreak sean hannity giving him a middle seat in coach. i need leg room! dick cheney. he's a scary man. scares me to death. i tell my kids, and two cars pull up and one has a stranger and the other car has dick cheney, you get int he car with the stranger.
dick cheney is trying to defend it torture. they should release the memos that show all that good information we got. you cannot defend torture. that is like me robbing a bank and going in front of the judge and saying, yes your honor, i robbed a bank but look at all of these bills are pai paid. and finally, they are even giving you grief about the dog. animal rights people. why didn't you get a rescue dog? the man has to rescue a country that has been abused by its previous owner. start withe a fresh a dog. thank you all very much. good night.
[captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2013] >> at tonight's white house correspondents' dinner at the washington hilton, cbs will be hosting former joint chiefs of staff chairman "mike & molly". also at the table, actors claire dane and chef jose andres. "usa today" has announced that their guests include ashley judd, courtney cox, and kristin chenoweth. our live coverage starts with the red carpet or rivals. and the awards presentation and ending with this year's featured speakers, president obama and comedian conan o'brien. now we continue our look at
speeches from past correspondence and dinners. in 2011, "saturday night live's seth meyers was the featured speaker. this is about 25 minutes. and ilo, i 'm seth meyers cannot thank you enough for having me tonight. let me say, this evening i will be making a lot of jokes about many of the people in this room. and not worry. no matter how harsh the joke they have been abetted by the man at the top, chinese president hu jintao. to be sitting at the table with the president, a man i greatly admire. it is such an honor to perform for the leader of the world's most powerful/poorest country. and before i start, please remember -- the joke.
thank you for the timing on that, mr. president. jokese working on these for months. one of my guys said, are you worried that we are heavy on birth certificate jokes? what if he releases it before the dinner. i was like, why would he do it? he is not going to wait three years and release it before the dinner. who told you i had a birth certificate jokes? it?as assange, wasn't vice-president. if not, i am down to thank you and god bless america. honored to be performing for those of you here tonight as well as a handful of people watching at home on c-span c-span is of course the official network for a wide shot of them did shares -- empty chairs.
every time i tune in, it looks like they just had a fire drill. c-span is 1 and paid electric bill away from being raided a station.- a radio people think osama bin laden is hiding in the hindu kush, but you know that every day from 4:00 to 5:00 the house to show on c-span? -- he h osts a show. i am not complaining about c- span. i usually work on nbc. tonight i am thrilled to be on a network of people actually watch. that i havefact projected on four screens makes me the third highest rated show on nbc. comcast bought nbc. i am assuming by accident, or when goldman sachs caught up the network and a bottle that into a cdo.
cdo.d bundled it into a i think that was the only room that this joke would work and it only kind of did. be inso amazing to washington d.c., all of these amazing buildings. and yet here we are at the hilton. carpet was amazing. who are you wearing? what does it matter? i am going into hilton. i am very happy we are at the hilton because no matter how i do tonight, i am earning honors points. you may not like these jokes, but i will be laughing all the way to a free breakfast. of you do not know, the white house correspondents association is an organization of journalists who cover the white house and the president.
earlier senator john paul told me 90% of what they do is -- told me that kyl 90% of what they do is abortions. but tonight is not about our political differences. tonight is about the after party. i keep hearing about how everybody is excited to go to the bloomberg party. in new york, no one is excited to go to a bloomberg party. low birth party is thought -- a bloomberg party is five people smoking outside of a bar complaining about bloomberg. i am contractually obligated to intend the msnbc party. president obama makes the kool- aid and everybody their drinks it.
home?ose to my there are some unscheduled parties. fox news is having a party. make sure you bring your driver's license and your long form driver's license. if you are blond, do not worry. just bring that dynamite smile. the "the new york times" party used to be free, but tonight there's a cover. like everyone else, i will probably just go to the huffington post party. and that is asking people to go to other part is first and steal food and drinks and bring it there. don't get me wrong. i love ariana huffington. seas sounds like a woman who would be sitting up in bed -- she sounds like a woman sitting
up in bed as james bond is walking out of the door. will i see you again james? is going to be crazy. it will not be good but it will be crazy. i met james o'keefe. i think it was. it may have been a regular kid who hated organized labor -- pimp who hated organized labor. npr is having a party. it's what i was told. of sweepingn a year changes. is leaving cbs. she was known for asking tough questions like, name and newspaper. years of hard hitting questions and she will be remembered for the one that could double as a category on the family feud.
follow-up question, name something you keep in your attic . is one of the many departures. npr fired juan williams. ack and afraid of muslims. making him the least likely man to get a cab in new york city. was suspendedn from the show by donating money to three democratic campaigns. the punishment seem harsh compared to the response that larry king got after giving a buffalo nickel to arthur. out with the old, in with the who? you are gone but
you are forgotten. not everyone is leaving. anderson cooper is at cnn. and i love watching him report from the field. and tell how much danger he is and by how tight his clothing is. slicker, the yellow it is a hurricane. when he's in the child size white t-shirt, all its are flying and he is pulling kittens out of the rubble. cooper withnderson his shirt off, turn off your television and run. snbc has a new slogan -- lean for. as if the problem is that we could not hear them. have you seen harbd ball?
chris matthews yells like an auctioneer and a tunnel. now more than ever it is clear the media is changing. they are adapting to the online world. even bloomberg news is on twitter with an impressive 220,000 followers. only 20,000 less than a coper that escaped from the bronx zoo -- a cobra that escaped. brian williams is here tonight here he said it was coming because tonight has the elements he respects -- cameras. i am not saying brian loves being on tv but when he went to egypt it was because he heard it was the pilot season. i have nothing but respect for my good friend, brian. brian land and in london to cover the royal wedding only to turn back around and returned to america to cover the tornados and alabama. it was courageous and that is a direct quote from brian
williams. -- many hollywood celebrities are here tonight. looks the way ever republican thinks they look. looks the way republicans think every democrat looks. talking about celebrities and reality stars, we might as well talk about the 2012 republican candidate. look at the options the republicans are kicking around -- how to become like gingrich, trump. that does not sound like candidates. that sounds like season 13 of "dancing with the stars". the dancers. romney.art with no apologies? when you have to proclaim no
apologies, is that not a tacit admission you have made a lot of mistakes? if i come from -- a trip to vegas and the first thing i say to my girlfriend, and the first thing as a is no apology. we are going to have a follow-up conversation. have rand paul and ron paul been talking about a run. they have something in common with my father and i, which is we are also not going to get elected president. i would love nothing more than to see a debate between a father and son. rebuttal? dad, you ruin everything. tim pawlenty. if you look of boring and a dictionary that is more exciting than listening to pawlenty. he makes al gore look like ru paul. mike mike huckabee is considering a run.
he said the president was raised in kenya and went to a muslim school and hates america. despite that, he seems like a sweet person. he sounds less like a candidate and more like my aunt. then of course there is donald trump. donald trump has been saying that he will run for president as a republican which is surprising because i assumed he was running as a joke. donald trump often appears on fox. a fox appears on trump's head. if you're at the "the washington post" table and you cannot finish your entree, don't worry. the fox will eat it. if i can for a moment talk about the birther issue, when did we get so suspicious about where
people are bored? a poll said 38% of americans think that the president was born in the u.s. in this same poll, only 5% more said donald trump was born in the u.s. has it reached the point where americans only thing something -- someone was born here if they saw it? i know my younger brother was born here, but when it comes to my older brother i can only take him at his word. gary busey said that donald trump would make a great president. he said the same thing about an old rusty . cage he found. trump owns the miss usa pageant. it is great for republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice-president. donald trump said he has a great relationship with blacks. are a familylacks
of white people i will bet he is mistaken. is rich.hat trump si but nobody told his accent. he sounds like an overall down at the otb. he may not be a good choice for president but he would make a great press secretary. how much fun with that be? a loser.il is i feel bad for ahmadinejad, he wears a windbreaker. he has no class. i saw my own line of ties. you can find at macy's in the flammable section. it is not a strong field. you know if they can beat you? but i tell you who could definitely be you, mr. president. 2008, barack obama. you would have loved him.
charismatic, charming. would it be to do was he too idealistic? maybe, but you would have loved him. i think we remember the inauguration day, the first lady was there. as beautiful as you looked today, you look even more beautiful tonight. hand, mr. the other president have aged a little bit. what happened to you? when you were sworn in your looked like a guy from the old spice commercials. gossettlook like louis sr. i have never said this to anyone before but maybe you should start smoking again. you were change talking about? mr. president, look at your hair.
if your hair gets any wider the party isiter the tea going to endorse it. i am going to get an angry voice mail in 19 years. but i believe the president would agree that the mood has changed since the beginning of his term. at the beginning, housewives were trying to sneak into the white house. not everyone is leaping. by this time next year, it will be you and joe biden trying to find tollner for the copy machine. now your reelection campaign has begun. i bet it is hard getting back in campaign mode. do you know who is writing it? will i. am. he is writing down words that rhyme with debt ceiling. the heritage foundation projected that joke would get a standing ovation. trust them.
i have confidence in you. you still have the first lady and is still the joe biden. what can i say about joe biden that has not already been said incorrectly by joe biden? as vicee having biden president is taking your blue- collar dad to a restaurant here he is more comfortable at the olive garden, he mispronounces the sauces and you are tempted to lean over to the waiter and said, i am sorry about him. he is from scranton if the president and joe biden were not invited to the royal wedding. when joe biden found out he said to the president, you, me, ii.ing crashers i will put us at two amtrak tickets to london. the vice president loves trains. he loves trains. it must've been hard for the
president to tell joe biden cut high speed rail. joe, come on in. take off your engineer's cap. i have bad news about the choo choos. the news one of the straps on his overalls and dripped off his shoulder. on the subject of budgets i would be remiss not to mention paul ryan. he introduced a budget plan that would overhaul medicare and make deep cuts to social and health care programs because he believes the american people said loving clear, stop using my tax scholars to take care of me -- tax dollars to take of me. as apraised paul ryan serious adult. nothing is more depressing about politics than the fact that adult as a complement.
adult is a complement to a child. i am so proud of you. you acted like an adult tonight. i am glad i brought you to my boss's house for dinner. you even cut your own meat like oa big boy. there are lots of things that you want us to be impressed by, congress. we are not impressed he sat next to each other at the state of the union. to you know what the rest of --ricans call spending sitting next to somebody with wildly different political views? thanksgiving. we are not impressed when you complain about how bills are too long to read. the health care bill is 2000 pages. good. a bill that insures every person in america should be longer than the girl with the dragon tattoo. i do not think you read bills anyway. i think you vote on bills in the same way as the rest of us agree to updated terms and conditions on itunes.
well, i should wrap it up. i am getting a red light. not the red light that signals i am out of time. but the red light that signals that the camera is low on batteries. in all is this, i want to thank the journalists here tonight. i could not do my job if he did not do yours. it is fitting that this event happened on the same weekend as the royal wedding. as i was watching the festivities, i could not help thinking how wonderful it is to live in a country where people do not wear hats like that. an honoras turly been for me. america is the greatest country on earth and at least when my speech started, was still a nation rated aaa. thank you and good n ight. ight.
[captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2013] let's take a look of a special page we have set up online for this year's dinner. we will have speeches from past dinners. we have clips that you can share. we have live coverage of tonight's dinner and that will include remarks from the president and conan o'brien. and you can. froms -- check out tweets journalists and celebrities. go to c-span.org and click on the 2013 white house correspondents association dinner. >> in democracy the purpose of public office is not to fulfil
personal ambition. serve aofficials must cause greater than themselves. leftpolitical winds blow and right, polls rise and fall, supporters come and go. but in the end, leaders are defined by the convictions they hold and my deepest conviction, guiding principle of the administration is that the united states of america must strive to expand the reach of freedom. >> the dedication of tucker bush presidential library -- the bush presidential library, sunday morning at 10:00 a.m. eastern on c-span. >> in 30 minutes, we will be live at the washington hilton for the white house correspondents' dinner. that is an annual event in washington that brings together politicians and some of the biggest names in media and hollywood for an evening of
food, award and speeches. the speakers tonight -- president obama and talk show host and comedian conan o'brien. we will have a a live for you beginning at 6:15 with a red carpet are rivals. in addition to the program at the hilton we will show you the activities going around the district today. that gets underway in about a half-hour on c-span. we have been showing you some of the speeches from past debtors and we will finish with the very first appearance of this year speaker, conan o'brien. this is from 1995. it runs about 30 minutes. >> hi there. ken walsh, mr. president, members of the white house correspondent board, members of the association, tom selleck. hi. how are you?
roar. real thrill to be here. i want to say there is actually nothing more inspiring than watching a peaceful transition of power from one whitehouse -- correspondents association president to another. i'm ok now. i'm all right. before i begin i have a few announcements to make. bear with me. the first is for the democratic congressman present. please refrain from switching parties during the dinner. it is a very confusing to your waiter. got thetand mason deal same dinner twice. i have a good news -- tonight's event is sold out. arerding to ken walsh there
2700 people present. i understand michael huffington which is to dispute that number --wishes to dispute that number. quick announcement. will the person with the washington license plate number dornan?ease see bob he has not offended yet. -- you yet. finally, i have an announcement for those of you watching tonight's event on c-span. for god's sake, it is saturday night. go outside! meet a woman! come on! there are things you can do. am -- to say i tings than mine.
i am honored to be part of this event. when i got the invitation i was thrilled i would be speaking in the same room with the most powerful man in the country then i heard judge ito cancelled. but you move on. you accept it and move on. i was not aware that, when you theend end a function with president, you are put through an extensive background check. it is a little embarrassing. it turns out technically i am still a virgin. what that know means. the secret service checked out my parents. now my dad is on the short list for surgeon general. congratulations, dad. he's very he will do a good job.
probably tell you something about myself. i am a talk-show host. i remember i was really excited to get my own show. then i found out roger ayles had one. what is next? ziner?g with ira maga picatta.edients veal difficult.ole made it is a great show. before.e president once he had a big st. patrick's day dinner at the white house. and he invited all of the prominent irish-americans. all of the prominent irish- americans were there. jerry clooney was there.
the lucky charms leprechaun was there. the woman who says manly, yes, but i like, too. and a drinking buddy of ray -- great guy, too. we did shots. that was a quick trip to washington i took a year ago. i am a bit of an outsider. i have never really seen this great city. early this morning, this is true, i left the hotel and i walked all around the city. spine. went up my it occurred to me that i was walking the same streets as jefferson, madison, lincoln, bono.
i'm not over it yet. trvia. i -- trivia. i was a history major. i have little fun trivia fact. washington was not the original capital of the united states. did you know that? new york was the original capital. that is so sad. originalork was the capital. they decided to move the capital during george washington's inaugural address someone shouted out, hey, buddy. nice wig. -- i am just telling you stuff you should know. that is my job. i got up early this morning. i did walk around and i decided for inspiration i would visit
the jefferson memorial. have you done that? everyone goes to the lincoln memorial. no one goes to the jefferson. so i went. i was very inspired. are some the marblle inspiring things. i have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. just below that, i know but one a code of morality for men whether acting singly or collectively. and away at the bottom, it says, p.s. if there is ever a movie about me, please do not cast nick nolte. most movingbly the experience of my life. here?t's -- is he i am an outsider. i'm from boston. i live in new york and i wanted
to get inside the beltway. i wanted to get, for the speech, i wanted to get into the same mindset as most of you people in washington. i did. so right now would like to announce that i am a republican candidate for president. thank you very much. come on the way off for donations. i went to senator bird for advice. he said, keep it to 14 hours. after that you start to lose them. but i am serious. i wanted to get plugged into this. i am not plugged in to washington. so i have been watching this sunday morning washington shows. very diligently. i watched brinkley's show. sam donaldson. who i understand is in big trouble for accepting $50,000 in farm subsidies. i guess that thing on his head is technically a farm. no one told me.
i didn't know. me, ladies and gentlemen. it was either me or al domatto doing impressions. stick with this. hi there. i like your work. now -- another washington show that i have been watching is larry king live. larry's here. that is great promotion. i have been watching larry king. hisy just got married to fifth or his seventh wife. no one actually knows her full name, because he refers to her as a melody from overland park, kansas. crappy impression.
i am very impressed. i want to be sincere. i am impressed with the -- in this country. i am. i think the press should be -- .iven credit for shifting focus a big story. i'm an outsider. i do not know much. you do not have to know much to know that the big story is the 1996 presidential race. it is starting to heat up. starting to get going. bob dole is a big sotry. he announced recently. i read in the paper about two weeks ago, bob dole announced he will not bring up the issue of
president clings war record during the campaign. he went on to promise he will make this announcement every day until the campaign is over. huh? i know the man, yes. he's been on my show. selleck? tom senator dole is unhappy with phil graham for entering the race. i thought he -- i guess he thought he had the surly old guy vote wrapped up. this is disappointing news for him. pat buchanan is also in the race. i thought this was interesting. when pat buchanan announced his candidacy, some people ran on stage carrying signs that said pat buchanan is racist. and those were his supporters.
e gap.always worked at th i'll be there. of the bigich is one stories. he is not a candidate, but he is one of the biggest stories this is a true story. they give you some idea of his popularity. a company is manufacturing underwear with newt gingrich's face. someone told the president this and he said, it is nothing to me. he has been on my butt for two years. that's a quote. that was in the "the times." a source. now, i'm not an expert on politics or the contract with
america, but i understand one part of the contract that did not pass is term limits. i went and i looked it up. term limits were first proposed by strom thurmond in 1910. ld know the history if you are from washington. presidente on to clinton. i will say something briefly in the vein of the 1996 race some people say the president is going to have a tough race. some say it is not going to be easy. well, i speak for the 30 and under generation. mr. president, i want you to know, you do not have to worry about us, because we do not vote.
soundly. now, i just the fact is, those of you have seen my show, and there are nine, i've is special relationship with the president. he had actually appeared on my show many times. he has been a frequent guest. he has allowed me to interview him. thisis the first time that has happened in the 81 years of these dinners. the first time he has allowed the comedian to interview him like right here at the dinner. in to president clinton.
given it up. i am the president. all right. welcome. how are you? i am filling relevant, really relevant. good for you. that is good for you. very good for you. >> it is good for america. i believe this country can look forward to two years of relevant leadership. this is going to be my campaign slogan.
>> i do not know much. this sounds like a bad idea. >> it does. i have to let paul gough today. they are dropping like flies. >> it is very good to see you again. >> i remember meeting you at the st. patrick's day dinner. you were standing between the potato salad and a yankee pot roast. it was a fine dinner. >> that was a dead dictator dinner. i took it home. like today's dinner? that was my idea. republicans will try to take credit for that. it was my idea. i have talked about this since
1992. >> i think we need to clear something up. if i am talking to you on the screen, who is this gentlemen? >> that is my stanton. -- stand in. he is great. he does not quite have the boys down. yet in my stand in for the last year-and-a-half. -- he has been my stand in for the last year and a half. i see now. it if he is here now, where are you? >> i am over at the house of representatives. i'm still making my state of the union speech. it is quiet.
i'm coming up to a big finish. >> good for you. >> seeking catch it anytime. troubleeem to be having getting television time. >> we are on tv now. >> mr. president, we are on c- span. >> c-span? oh, gee. kind of like a tree in the forested you know what i mean. what ist if you know mean. that hurts. hey, one is watching, everybody, i inhaled. i smoked my brains out. people used to call me weed
willie. >> that is good. please. i want to help you here. that was fun. what you need to do is get your message out. >> what message? [laughter] up i know. my message. school lunches, yeehaw. >> that is the message? >> i am working on it. back off. >> things are not looking up for you. >> i am relevant. quite the school lunch is terrific. your approval rating is up. a lot of people say that is because you have been keeping a low profile. >> that is right, a baby.
itm laying low, playing cool. playing it cool. ;layin l. i'm getting stepped-up people do i even know about. like michael jordan coming back, that is me. that is me. >> really? you did that? what else? >> pino the new pizza with the cheese in the crest -- you know that new pizza with the cheese in the curst? rust? report alloesn't this good step. did they do not what we do hear about the pizza. they have their own agendas. they are a bunch of lowlifes. >> i should probably mentioned this. we are at the white house press correspondents dinner.
from the press is here. >> right. hey, there, press. nice pressie. good, press. good first amendment. everybody drink up. we're just having fun. >> brett is here. >> uh-oh. who else? >> eleanor? >> i can handle her. apgar her in my pocket. -- i've got her in my pocket. who else? bobnovack are and at one table. >> your sears the killing my
bus. -- you are seriously killing my buzz. other secretany achievements we should know about? >> last week and nearly averted a tennis strike. >> i never heard about that. >> laying low. playing it cool. book doesmcnamara's cannot sing vietnam was a mistake. your war record is no longer an issue. >> i am vindicated. it was a bad war and i chose not to serve. it was the right thing to do. except i chose to go to russia and party with communists. it was the right thing to do. rooftop of thehe
kremlin and got high with a very high willie nelson. >> elections are coming up. you had some big victories like nafta. >> that is right. i came up with a slogan. aftah'or nafta, party we're only beginning to see the effects of nafta. it will make mexican food more accessible to the united states, and foreign foods like burritos, enchiladas, cannoli. >> i am sorry?
the crime bill was a very important achievement to year. some people think he made to many compromises. >> i did not budget one bit. >> you are tough on crime. >> that is me. look out, crime, i am going to give you. the crime bill is still packed this. >> if you rob a bank cannot open an account at that branch. that is right. >> you are satisfied with the
gun control compromises? a planeu bring a gun on yuma's start in the overhead compartment. if republicans try to roll that back, i will take my pen. >> you did make a lot of compromises and promises. >> i made a few promises. i will be using the triple automotive club. cannot forget the peace treaties with israel. >> no. we did it. we did it. hold up? this will what role will the syrians
really played? >> we did it. we did it. >> was a more difficult getting jordon on board? got primetold him i minister robert bean and prime minister who sang what peace. >> it is king hussein'. >> he is taking a? a king? cool. >> i guess if it says is a success. >> school lunches, vindicated. cannot have done it without my right-hand man.
years in office. laundry?is my >> it is still in the spin cycle. it will be approximately 90 minutes before its is dry. >> thank you. give them a hand. they deserve it. that is pretty much it for me. , i love you too. one thing i did want to do is i wanted to say, look at this room have here. liberals and conservatives. we have politicians. we have the press. we have the young. we have the old. i thought it would be great if i
could see -- say one thing that all of us could get behind as a people, one statement we could all get behind and move on with. i think i have it. dornan cannot be present. thank you very much. goodnight. [captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2013] coveragee to the live of the 2013 white house correspondents' dinner held at the washington hilton. nearly 3000 journalists and their guests will be on hand as the president makes his traditional remarks. c-span will be light throughout the evening beginning right now arrivals.ed carpet you can participate this evening as well. the